


oh, don't you know? (everyone deserves to be loved)

by BehindFlickeringLampposts



Series: all the time spent trying to be enough (it's not coming back) [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves is Dead, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Loneliness, References to Depression, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 08:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19292104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindFlickeringLampposts/pseuds/BehindFlickeringLampposts
Summary: Klaus remembers the day Ben first appeared to him as a ghost. It was a warm Saturday afternoon and he was way too tired to deal with him but Ben appeared anyway.Then, he immediately started judging his lifestyle and acting all "brotherly".Klaus doesn't need the help of a ghostEspecially not the ghost of the brother who barely spared him a thought.Klaus thinks he's not worthy of love and is confused and angry at Ben's sudden interest in his well-being.Ben just wants to mend their relationship because of course he loves his brother, he was just terrible at showing it.





	oh, don't you know? (everyone deserves to be loved)

Klaus remembers the day Ben first appeared to him. It was a warm Saturday afternoon, and he was trying to get some sleep because the ghosts hadn't left him alone all night long. Luther, Diego and Ben were gone, on another mission god knows where. As for Allison and Vanya, he had no idea of what they were doing, and he didn't care. But, yes, it was a warm Saturday afternoon and Ben poked his head through the door.

Klaus screamed.

 

Afterwards, it was difficult to adjust to the change.

Ben was with him _everywhere_.

He followed Klaus around, pestering him to stop getting high and just trying to change his lifestyle in general.

_As if._

 

Klaus couldn't stand the thought of it. Ben had been kind to him in life, yes, but he had never actually been by his side. Never tried to make the others include him, never spared him much thought. And now — _now that he knew just how bad the ghosts could be_ — now he wanted to act all brotherly?

Well, Ben-The-Life-Coach could go fuck himself.

Klaus didn't need to change a thing.

 

The turning point happened two months after Ben's death, on one of the many balconies in the guest rooms, while they waited for dawn after yet another night spent trying to avoid the other ghosts that, for some reason, haunted the house. Ben-The-Brotherly-Ghost, that was currently sitting at his right, made another attempt at steering him away from the drugs and Klaus snapped.

 

“So what, am I supposed to just forget?”

 

“Forget what?” asked Ben frowning.

 

“You know damn well what.”

 

“Klaus I don't-”

 

“All those years where you didn't help me when I needed you, where you didn't spare a thought to me, where you did nothing as the others put me down constantly.”

 

_**Am I supposed to forget that I was alone?** _

_**Am I supposed to just move on?** _

_**After fifteen years, am I supposed to be grateful that you're dead so you'll spare me a glance?** _

 

Ben's eyes turned sympathetic and guilty and Klaus wanted to scream and tear his hair out because that's not what he wanted.

He didn't _want_ sympathy.

He wanted an acknowledgement, something that said, yes, you're right, you aren't imagining it, we really are ignoring you.

Just give him _something_.

And why was Ben guilty anyway? What reason did he have to feel guilty? Klaus hadn't been worthy of their affection, he was the guilty one, not Ben — _it doesn't matter if it hurts so bad you want to scream, it doesn't matter if you cry every night because the ghosts are scary and there's no one to help you, if you're not worthy then it's your own damn fault. Right? Right. That's what Klaus had learned from all those years. Everyone was worthy of love but him,_ _so_ _he had to work so very hard to even be acknowledged,_ _an_ _d he shouldn't whine about it because that's how things were, and he wasn't a child anymore._

**_He shouldn't whine._ **

 

“Shit, I'm sorry Ben, really. God, why can't I just move on? What's wrong with me?”

 

“Klaus.”

 

“I mean, it's been two months I'm so-”

 

“Klaus.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“...you deserve to be loved, you know that right?”

 

_That wasn't true, he hadn't done anything to deserve it. Nothing had changed so why-_

 

“Everyone deserves to be loved. I'm sorry that I made you feel as if you didn't.”

 

_But why **now** , whywhywhywhy-_

 

 

“... I'm sorry that I never realised you didn't know. I'm sorry that I didn't try harder.”

 

“...you really love me?”

 

“You're my brother. I've always loved you.”

 

_**“Oh.”** _

 

The sunrise was particularly beautiful that morning.

**Author's Note:**

> So...  
> I don't know, really.  
> Tell me if I've made spelling mistakes or something like that. Constructive criticism is appreciated.  
> I hope you liked it.


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